Huge, big, little, bigger, and smallish

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. When I was 10 my mother took me to Weight Watchers. That was her way of helping me. But, all I was interested in was collecting stickers. I was spoiled and socially awkward and all the while my weight ballooned.

By 2003, I weight 350 pounds. I was miserable, lonely and needed help. I was pushing 30 with no prospect of a relationship and my body was telling me that it was time to become a mother. I looked into weight loss surgery and was approved by my insurance for the Gastric LapBand. I had the surgery in March of 2003. I had just started dating a man that weighed all of 127 pounds. He thought I was beautiful but wanted me to be healthy and happy. In november of that year, after losing my first 50 pounds, we became husband and wife. I reached a plateau and became pregnant with my second pregnancy (the first one ended in a miscarriage in 2004) and I had my first child in September of 2005. I lost 20 pounds during my pregnancy and then gained it all back plus 1 pound. At the time of her birth, I was 285 pounds. Over the next 3 years I got to my main goal of 220 pounds, passing it and finally getting to 207 pounds. I looked amazing. But, boy was I still miserable. I was vomiting upwards of 6 times a day. I had horrible acid reflux and I basically was starving. My marriage was crumbling around me as well.

Then in April of 2005 I got a big surprise. I was pregnant with my second child. It was a big time oopsy but I was content on making it work. My husband's first reaction was, "We are broke. I don't know how we are going to do this. Maybe you should have an abortion." I believe, had already decided to leave, but stuck around since we were about to have another baby because abortion was not an option. I was still vomiting daily, not eating and having a very difficult first trimester. I decided to have my band loosened. Instead, I had all of the saline removed. I could eat, I wasn't throwing up and I was much more comfortable. But, my marriage was still suffering and all the while I was gaining weight. I gained 80 pounds with my second child. I was very unhealthy. I breastfed on demand and felt I had my kid attached to me 24/7. When our baby was a few months old my husband lost his job. We were screwed. A few months later, after I had taken a job to help out and asked for some help from family, and to move, he decided it was too much to try to make it work so he filed for divorce and injunction to take the kids away from me. I was devastated. I could barely function and my weight skyrocketed again. By November of 2009 I was 310 pounds.

So, I started over with my kids and the help of my family. I got my band tightened back and started slowly losing weight. I was able to finish a pharmacy technician program in 15 months, get my own place and be hired immediately after graduation. I lost about 50 pounds in that time. I was getting my life back together. My job keeps my on my feet all day. I move non stop and even though its hard, I am thankful. I have been able to lose weight at a good pace and keep it off. I am now 225 pounds and feeling great. I have an amazing boyfriend that loves me for me and loves my body just as it is. We work together in getting healthier and being the best we can be for ourselves, our children and for each other.